beautiful girls

Of course I believe I have three very beautiful girls and I thank God for each of them everyday. But how would you feel if someone told you only two of your girls were beautiful the other one wasn't that great. How do you respond to that. I was so taken back at first, asking me which one I love the most is a crazy enough question but then when you say that one of them isn't as pretty as the other, i was once again taken back. Well a little, not much really surprises me anymore. It was a younger lady that told me that, and she said it just like a fact, that it wouldn't hurt anyones feelings or that it might not be the most polite thing to say. I told her all my girls were beautiful that they were each a gift from God. Then I thought once again, how sad, she probably, most defiantly knows if she is the prettiest in her family or one of her sisters. I'm sure she has been told, and i'm pretty sure that she has never been told that she is a gift from God and that He made her and formed her and loves her. please ask that I would have the words to say to these ladies!!!

getting big

Abram continues to grow and grow and grow. He is eating more and more and getting bigger everyday. He is doing great here. G our house helper figured out putting him in the basket keeps him contained for at least a few minutes. But usually he is all over the house looking for something to tear up. Miley, the dog, makes a lot less of a mess then he does :) but he is a lot more fun!

how beautiful

The kids from down the street came over almost everyday to play this last week. One day when they came in, Kirk was washing dishes. They walked past the kitchen and then stopped and went in and one of them said "how beautiful." They could not believe a man was in his own house washing dishes. Of course, when Kirk told me that, he said he really shouldn't wash anymore since that is not culturally appropriate.
I just thought is was so funny that these young girls would stop and really notice and see the differences. Dads here, in general, do not help inside the house. The wife's job is the house and the kids. Glad it is not like that for me, don't think I could make it if Kirk didn't help out with the kids and around the house.

Baby Party

One of our neighbors had a baby, and last night was the last night of the "baby party." After a women has a baby she "sits" for between 25-40 days. She has a special place in the house and women come everyday to see her. Some days are more important then others and there will be music or dancing and lots of people come; some days just a few people come and have tea. The interesting thing about this to me is that no really notices the baby. It is really a party for the mom, which is good in some ways, I just find it strange that no one holds or looks at or talks about the baby. Anyway, last night was a big night since it was the final day. She will all dressed up and had her arms hennaed and lots of make-up on. All the women there had on their best dresses. Some sparkly some long, some short. Almost as fancy as going to a wedding but not quite. I had been to see another neighbor before, a relative of this girl and so we went together and before we left she decided that I need to be dressed more appropriately so she lent me one of her dresses. (picture below) Of course she said i should just put it over what I had on, so as you can see I had on jeans and a long sleeve shirt and on top of that I now was wearing a blue fancy short-sleeved dress. Any other place in the world I would have been embarrassed, but not here. I actually felt like I fit in, somewhat!
Okay the party itself. We were in a big room, but it was filled with women, they were smoking "shesha" and chewing; and all of them were wearing lots of perfume, and on top of that there is always incense burning. Me and Abram sat down and I started talking to the lady next to me, she was very sweet but insisted that Abram eat the candy that had been given to him when we walked in the room. Each person was given a bag with a soda and a packaged little cake thing. Then they handed Abram his own piece of candy. I said no and tried to explain that he is only 8 months and doesn't eat that. As I'm saying no she opens it and before I can dig it out he is enjoying some chocolate. Lucky I got it all before he could get the carmel off the candy bar. Of course, by now Abram and I are both sweating and he is getting fussy, and of course it is time for him to eat. Feeding a baby in a group is completely normal, of course feeding him while wearing all of those clothes was a little tricky. Luckily we survived and he was pretty good for the next couple of hours and we sad and visited.
One thing they do here and in this religion in memorize and recite the names of God, there are 99. They have a string of 33 beads and they are suppose to use those to help them and they say the names over and over. The lady next to me was wearing what I though was a ring watch. But when I went to look at it I saw that it was a counter. instead of beads the new high-tech way is to have a counter and then when you say a name of God you can push the button. I was surprised and then very saddened. Trying to get up with the "good deeds" so you can make sure they out weigh the bad. After seeing that and then listening as they sang religious songs, by heart broke for these women. I sat there and prayed for these ladies that do not have any hope of a future. Trying so desperately to earn favor with a just God. Wanting His peace and grace but not understanding the one and only way that He provided that.
well that was the baby party, I did sneak a peak at the precious baby boy, who slept through it all! Asking that he grows up hearing Truth be taught.

everything including scarf and balto had to be watched and I had to have a shower after the amount of perfume that was sprayed on me. (do i really stink???)

What a week

This week has been a little unusual, even more then most. Kirk and I started Arabic back, and we are working on getting a good schedule in place. He is going to the school in the mornings and my teacher comes here in the afternoons. In the mornings i'm homeschooling and then around lunch time we have a lady from Ethiopia that comes and helps with the kids. When she gets here we both go out to his office and study, lucky it is two rooms, so we have our own space and there is a place for me and my teacher when she gets here. This has worked pretty well. It gives us both some time and a place to study and me time in the morning to teach our children. Kirk is still working with the same teacher, but I have a new lady. The first few days were really hard as we got to know each other and she kind of started getting a feel for where I am in my language. The last couple of days were better as we told stories of our families and just got to kind of know each other. This is good and hard. Her marriage is not the best, she has been married about a year, and of course it was arranged. She had never seen him, nor he her. She seems like a pretty hard worker and from everything I can gather about him, he does nothing really. He has a taxi but didn't work last week because he said it was too dusty. She gets really tired of taking care of him and getting nothing in return. When the Father isn't in it, I don't see how a marriage ever works. It is so hard to sit and listen and not know what to say to comfort. Then she sees what a good husband and father Kirk is and I know she wants that. Of course, it did give me some opportunity to share which is great. Also everyday she asked what I did the day before, so one day this week I was telling her that I read to the kids at night and she asked me what and so I was able to share the story of the 5 loaves and 2 fish. Please remember her and ask that I would have the opportunity to share many stories in the weeks to come. It works great because she gets to hear the story and I get to learn how to tell it even better!

This week has also been different because of things happening here. For security reasons our movements around the city have been very limited. Its only been one week and it is already a little tiring to have to stay close to home. So you can also be remembering me. We do have great neighbors and so that has been nice since i'm not really leaving the neighborhood. Kirk said again today, "The Father really knew which house we needed." Thankful we have a Father that knows the future and is not surprised by what is happening. He knew two years ago that this was the house for us and the neighborhood we needed to be in. So thankful we serve an Awesome God!!!

Abram's first fellowship

Abram, before we went to fellowship the first week we were here. So thankful that the Bible says where "two or more or gathered" The first week it was our family and two other people, this week one of them were out of town so just our family and one other lady. Small group but it was really great to worship together!

playing on the roof

Playing on the roof, the men were finished for the day working, but left a big pile of sand on the roof, the kids took full advantage of that! The kids down the street came over to join in the fun!!!

No Water

I learned something this last week, I don't know if I'm cut out to be a pioneer :)
The first day they worked on our roof, they also had to replace our water tank. Which meant no running water for the day. Well to start with we thought it was just going to be for a couple of hours, but we were wrong. That was the day they also brought the sand to fix the roof. They brought the sand that morning and thinking we were only going to be out of water for a couple of hours, I let the kids play in the sand pile. They had so much fun, until they were ready to come in and we had no water to clean them. Earlier in the day, it wasn't so bad, they were just a little dusty so we dusted them off and they came in, then that afternoon when we just knew they would have the tank done soon, we let them play again, this time knowing that they could not come in until we could put them in the tub. Well that didn't work, we ended up not having running water until about 9:30 that night. So about 7:00 I brought them in and Kirk went and bought 2 big jugs of water and I heated it on the stove and made them stand wash tub thing (that i use for dishes, usually) and I bathed them each with that little bit of water. I felt like I was in a little house on the prairie book. It wasn't their favorite thing but we got it done. Can't imagine never having running water like so many around us. How thankful I am for technology, while in this whole process our electricity went off, oh, how thankful I am for our generator!!! Can't imagine getting all that done by candle light.

I thought a lot that night of my neighbors that I cooked with a couple of weeks ago. They have no running water in the kitchen and maybe not anywhere in the house. How much do I have to be thankful for!!! I should never complain about anything!!!!

picture below is of Abram getting his bath after the sandy day. That was the "tub" all the girls had their baths in too. Of course, had to put fresh water in for each, it was quite brown after each one :)

sand mix with really dry skin (we are all still getting use to the very dry climate) made a kind of miserable night for the girls. Their legs were burning, this is Ayden trying to cool down a bit. However, it didn't stop them and they were out their the next day in the sand again.

hard at work

When we returned home we noticed that we had had a water leak. The landlord agreed to fix the roof and so for the entire last week we have had men here working. And I mean WORKING!!! The first day they came and delivered three dump trucks full of sand. I wondered how they were going to get the sand to the roof. I though maybe they will rig up some bucket to pull it up in or something like that. I was wrong! Starting that afternoon they got two or three sacks and started filling them with sand. Then they carried these 70-80 pound sacks up the flight of stairs to the roof. They did this for hours, the first day it was just 2 of them. The second day they were still hauling sand and they had a third guy helping them. I was tired just watching them. These men you would think when you looked at them that they couldn't pick up 20 lbs. They are smaller then me. Yet they would just throw these sacks on their backs and take off. So for 5 days straight, (they still have about one more day) they have worked on the roof carrying sand and then laying tiles. They come about 6:30 in the morning and work until 4 or 5 in the afternoon. A long day, but I think they are very thankful for the work, when so many here can't find a job. Kirk has had some good conversations with these guys, may they see a difference in us.

wanting a baby

Another friend of mine has been married now for a couple of years. (This is a different one then the one I mentioned when we were home). This lady I just love!!! I only met her a few months before we left, but she is just so sweet. I'll call her "Jemeela" arabic for beautiful, and she is!!! On the outside and on the inside. She is so patient with me. She will sit and listen and try to help me with my arabic for hours, she never gets frustrated or aggravated with me, she is just patient and kind. However, she is really not from my city, she is from the south. Her family was from here and most of them are still here, but before she was born her father moved to the south. So she never met many of her relatives. When she was of age to marry, her father wanted her to marry someone from within the family (still very common here) and so he sent her up here to marry her first cousin. Yes, you did just read that correctly! So now she is living with her aunt/mother-in-law here. Her husband, whom she seems to really like is not here most of the time. He works in another country for 6 or 8 months, sometimes longer and then he comes home for a few months. He is home now, and she is trying desperately to get pregnant. I know she really wants a baby, she loves children! But I know also that some of wanting a baby may come from fear of him taking another wife or divorcing her if she does not give him a child. Please remember her, that she will have a baby and that her baby will not have any birth defects, something that could easily happen since they are so closely related. That she will know who the giver of true Life is through all of this. Her husband will be here for about 2 more months, and I don't know how much I'll get to see her while he is home. I did give her a book before I left and she said she had been reading it, please help her to keep reading and even read with her husband.

Remarriage

I know I have mentioned before about my friend that is getting remarried and moving. She has 3 kids from her first marriage and she rarely gets to see them. She will be getting remarried in about 2 months and leaving the country. He has told her he will allow her to come home some and see them, but she doesn't know how often or even if he will keep his word. He has promised her great things and seems to have money to take care of her better then her brother can; however she even says she will not know the truth, what he is really like until they are married. She tells me she wants to get remarried, but i'm not sure if it is because she likes him or if it is only because what being single is like here. The surprising and good thing is apparently her brother let her meet him and make this decision to remarry (her father is dead, or it would be his decision.) The strange thing to me, as we talked was her fear of divorcing again. Even though the first divorce was not what she wanted, she in some ways gets the "blame." She kept telling me the other day that she is so afraid of him divorcing her, she said "i just can't get divorced twice." She is worried that he won't treat her good, but that is not her big concern. My heart broke for her that her biggest fear would be being disgraced, again; instead of being mistreated for the rest of her life.

What child do you love the most?

One question that you may not get asked as a mom in America is "What child do you love the most?" I had heard that question just a couple of times in the first 14 months that we were here, but now being back with a boy, I have heard it twice in the two weeks we have been here. Kirk has also been asked it a few times. I was also asked yesterday if my girls hit Abram. I said "no, they love
him very much." She went on to tell me that her daughters always hit her son; but before she had told me that her son was the favorite. And when she asked me which I love the most and I answered that I loved them the same, she replied, "no, surely you love one just a little more then the other." The jealously that her girls must feel to her son. I know when a new baby is born the others may feel jealous just because of the time the mom spends with the new baby, but what if along with that you knew that he was the favorite.

What must it feel like for a child to know they are not the favorite, or even to know that they are? Either would be such a horrible feeling, yet it is very common here for a mother to say that she loves one and that the other is stupid or she doesn't love him/her as much. Can you imagine your mother always saying in front of you that your sibling is her favorite? I can not!!! How can these people know the love of the Father when they do not even know unconditional love from their parents.

As I was telling Kirk this story, Ayden asked why a mom would love one child more then another. Of course, I have no answer for that but then we did talk about the story of Joseph and how Jacob loved him the most and the problems that caused in his family. As I thought about that, I thought that may be the next story I learn in Arabic. That may be a good story to tell and then somehow bridge to how the Father loves us all and sent His Son for each of us. Just thinking of ways I can turn the question of love into being able to talk about Truth.

Hungry Beggar

We went to eat today at a little arab place that has an area outside to sit and has a playground thing. The kids like it and it was one of our favorite places to go. They have a guy right outside that sells cotton candy, I think that is why the kids like it so much. Anyway while we were eating a beggar came by, Kirk told her no and she went on. (We don't usually give money to beggars, because you really do not know who is getting the money and what they are doing with it.) I thought it was strange, because even though we were outside we were still inside their fence. However, when Kirk went with the girls to get cotton candy she came back. I told her I didn't have any money, and she pointed to the food on the table. We had gotten fried chicken and there was only one piece left and some bread. I told her she could have that and she went and found a bag. she came back and sat down and I helped her put that piece and some bread in the bag. I talked to her for a minute and while we were talking she was eating the crumbs off Kirks plate. After a minute she left and then Kirk and the girls came back. Another minute went by and she came back to table and asked if she could have the rest of the scraps. We loaded her bag with all the bread left on the table and all the "eaten" fried chicken. I then gave her the can drink that was half empty, she was eating the crumbs off another plate on the table as we did this. My heart just broke for her. After she walked off we talked to the girls about what it means to be hungry. They say all the time how hungry they are yet they or I have never experience hungry like this lady. Willing to eat the crumbs off someones plate that you do not even know. My prayer for her is that she will hungry for Truth, just like she is for food. May she drink of the water that will not make her thirst again.
and may I always be thankful for how the Lord has provided for me.

another neighbor

I went to go see a friend that got married not long before we left. She had moved to another village, but is here for the next couple of weeks. She now has a two month old little boy. When I went to her house, another neighbor had told me she was home, they were having a "baby party" for another lady. Her baby was10 days old. For the forty days after a lady has a baby people come over daily to visit, thats the baby party. on certain days of that 40 days they will have music and Koren readings, and different things. but the day I went it was just a few women there talking. I had Abram dressed in pants and short sleeve shirt and no shoes, it is not cold. I was actually rather warm in this house. However, the two month old had on a had and two layers of clothes and was wrapped in a wool blanket. the 10 day old was wrapped even more then that. I held my friends baby and we talked about boys and babies and how things had been going. She was thankful to be in the city for awhile and so thankful that things seem much better now. She seemed very hopeful for the future. I'm hoping to go back this week and maybe talk more to her, I had given her a Book before she got married and I would love ask her if she has read and maybe talk more about things of the heart.
Of course, I may need to dress Abram a little more warm next time, they were very concerned about him and they wanted to know if I least put a hat on him and wrapped him when he was little. So funny!

my neighbor

The second day here we went to see a family that we just love. They have girls that play with our kids and they have just taken us in and loved on us. As I sat with the women, (some of the time we were actually together and some of the time the women were separate) they told me how afraid they had been and how hard life was for them. My heart cried out as they talked about the days and days when they only had maybe 30 min. of electricity a day. and then having to listen to all the fighting at night. At one point that night the mom got up and left the room and came back in with an AK-47 (the gun of choice here) and put it under the mattress she was sitting on. When I looked at her, she just said we were very afraid during all the fighting. I really can't understand living in such fear, with no hope. Please pray that I would have the words to say to these women.
We stayed and visited for about 5 hours and we ate dinner with them. beans and bread. I went to the tiny kitchen to learn how to make this bean dish (everyone hear eats this). As I stood in the kitchen my heart I was overwhelmed by how little this people have. they basically shop for what they need everyday. They had a little tiny fridge, but it no longer worked, they had had an oven/stove, but it no longer worked. So the daughter was cooking with three little burners basically on the floor. We crushed all the spices by hand and mashed the beans, she stood bent over the pot stirring for a long time! They also had no running water. They poured a little water out of the jug she had into a sink to wash the tea cups we had used earlier so that we could use them again.
I realized how little I really have to complain about. As I came back to my house, just on the next street, it doesn't look on the outside much different from theirs, yet mine has a nice kitchen with a stove, running water, a fridge and even a microwave. My heart sank as I thought about these women, what a hard life they lead here and no hope for a better eternity.
Please pray for this family and especially for the oldest daughter, when she was little she got really sick and I couldn't understand exactly what happened but she lost the use of one leg. Even though they treat her well, she rarely leaves the house, if ever. Someone did teach her to read and so she does that and she seems very bright. My heart just broke for her as I thought of how trapped she must feel. Yet she is so kind to me and invites me in and makes me feel so welcome there.

returning

so much to unpack and go through!

Wow, it is good to be back. Of course, leaving your house for a year does mean a lot of cleaning when you get home! We had some unwanted guest (mice) when we arrived back. Some how the covers for the drains in floor of the kitchen and the wash room were off. Every room had to be cleaned and everything had to be washed. But it is all done now and we have settled in to our home. We had so much fun unpacking our suitcases and going through all that was here and all that we brought back with us. The girls had forgotten most of their toys so it was like everything in the house was new again. Kirk and I felt the same way when we opened our closets and they were pretty full of clothes. When we left I was pregnant so I had basically left all my clothes here. How exciting, it was like everything was new!
One of my favorite things about returning home was the weather! It was nice and warm but not too hot, perfect. And I love how fast my clothes dry. In Jordan we were hanging out clothes and it would take 3 or 4 days to dry, if they did and then they would stink. After returning here I pretty much washed all the clothes we wore in Jordan again and they would dry on the line in less then 2 hours. It was great!
For those who want to know, we also were able to get Miley, or dog back. She has had a rough year, her hair was all matted down and very long. we spent a couple of hours a day for a few days, shaving her back and cutting her face and legs. Now we can see her eyes. It took her a few days to adjust back, but she is beginning to settle back in. Her time with the families from our people group were probably really hard, dogs aren't always treated the best here. But she did end up with an Ethiopian couple that loved her and took care of her. They have called more then once to check on her and make sure that she is okay. We believed she really helped them get through the really bad days of fighting here. When they were trapped inside listening to bombs go off and now knowing what was going on. We were thankful that she ended up being a help instead of a burden for someone.

Jordan

Abram and his friend from across the hall

Abram wearing the purple and pink mittens that the people across the hall gave us. Kirk wasn't so sure about his boy wearing purple or pink but here pink and purple are not girl colors, babies wear whatever color!

The girls with their friends across the hall

snow day


Our month in Jordan was COLD!!! Our apartment was nice, but the living room was not closed off and so the little heater could not keep the room even remotely warm. We had lots of family time as we all ended up staying in one bedroom most of the time. The gas heater could keep that room comfortable so we did school on the floor in there and for a few of the coldest nights we pulled another mattress on the floor in there and the girls slept in the same room as us. Abram had a pack n play in that room too. So all six in one room, we have some fun memories of our month there :)
A few days before we left we had rain, sleet, hail, and then snow!

However, God was faithful and gave us a family next door to visit. As I was thinking how cramped we were in one room, I soon became very thankful as I met this family. A mom and her 5 grown sons 3 of which were married so their wives and two grown daughters and 4 kids all living in the apartment across the hall. They were not from Jordan they were from a neighboring country that is also having lots of political unrest. They are all living in this apartment until it is safe to return home. The great thing for us was that they had two girls that played with our girls and one couple had a baby boy the same age as Abram. It was their first baby and I got to spend a lot of time with that mom. She was having a hard time being away from her family as they stayed in the country. She was also feeling very overwhelmed by having to stay inside and not having any friends there. Also being the newest of the wives in the family isn't always the easiest and she was taking a lot from the other women. If you think about her, please be lifting her up, her name actual is the arabic name for Mary. She has heard the Truth, please pray that her eyes would be opened.

funny story:
The day it started hailing we had been out and we were trying to get home before the weather got really bad. We caught a taxi and headed for home. Jordan has crazy traffic and where our apartment was, was really bad traffic. The taxi driver was a little crazy and we both think he had to be on something. His driving was insane! worse then normal! He was talking 90 miles an hour, sometimes to himself. Anyway as we got close to home, he asked if we could just get out there and walk; probably just 3 or 4 blocks i guess. We said no problem, thankful to be out of the taxi, but cold and now wet and cold; as it had started raining. Abram was wrapped to me and so we started home. Kirk stopped to buy fruit so the girls and I continued. By now it had started hailing, so here we are running down the street, freezing and all laughing so hard that we could hardly run. I know the people thought we were crazy for being out, especially with a baby, but we could not stop laughing. Ayden had a piece of hail go down her shirt and she start jumping around as the cold ice/water was running down her back. What a fun memory. Even though the taxi driver should have brought us home, i was shocked that seeing a baby in the car he let us out knowing we would have to walk in the rain; but i was so thankful for the memory!

A look back

As I think back over our first 2 years overseas, many things come to mind. We have learned so much! A lesson that we keep learning over and over is that God is ALWAYS Faithful. He has brought us through so much and drawn us closer to himself and closer to each other. Our family has grown in number and has grown closer to each other and to God. How thankful I am for all that He has done.
Not that it has been easy! This is the 5th house that Abram has lived in, in his short 8 months of life! Crazy to think how many times we have moved in the last two years. He keeps reminding me like it says in 1 Peter 1 that we are aliens. This is not our home, our home is with Him in eternity! I love my house here and was very anxious to return, but I will never feel completely at home here. I will never completely understand the language or the culture, it isn't my own. Also after being home in America for a couple of months, I realized how much I have changed and that wasn't really home. (of course family is family and I loved being with them!!!!) But as far as being settled there, we really weren't. Jordan defiantly wasn't home! So where is home??? I think Peter understood this when he called us aliens, we will really never be home until we are with the Father! And that is okay, I like having my house and my schedule and some security of the future, but really I learned the last year that if all of that goes away, I can still trust Him. He is faithful in every detail and He will provide all that I need and all that my children need.
Another thing that we have learned is that He is at work. It is a privilege to serve Him, but He is God almighty and He does not need me. Whether or not we are here, He will continue to work and His will, will be done. What a great comfort to know that He loves these people more then I ever could and His Spirit will continue to draw them; and Revelations tells us that people from this nation and tribe will be standing around His thrown.

Just a few lessons that really stuck out over the last year.