baby party

i'm learning so much about cultures and customs it is amazing to me!
In our city after you have a baby you sit for 40 days or so and people come everyday to your house to sit with you and drink tea. It is like a baby party everyday, except for the family who had the baby is responsible for hosting people everyday, serving tea and sometimes snacks. Then during those days there are special days where there is music and dancing and other things. The new mom gets very dressed up and wears a special head piece thing and it is all very interesting, but not something I would ever want to put myself through after having a baby. Of course when one of my neighbors found out I was pregnant she was very kind and offered for me to sit in her house for the 40 days for the party thing (i guess she thinks not many people would come to my house) I politely declined, and thought there is no way I can sit and entertain people for 40 days! So kind that she would offer but so funny. Guess one day after I'm recovered I will have to dress up and have a party for all my friends and neighbors. so funny how things are so different all over the world. However, I am all about sitting for 40 days and not having to clean or cook or do anything else ( ha ha).

but I was invited over one day to a friends house, and I hadn't seen this lady in months, so had no idea why she was inviting me.
when i got there it looked like a baby party, and of course i was underdressed, again! but i looked and saw no baby, but that is not uncommon either, a lot of times the baby is in another room, so i just sat and waited for someone to tell me what was going on. about 10 min. later my friend looked at me and said, "i had a baby three days ago and it died." I had no idea what to say to her, after telling her how sorry i was i sat astonished that i had been invited over to a house, where i hadn't seen the lady in months because her baby died. Me I would want to cry alone for days if that happened to me and a party would be the last thing on my mind, but it was what she was suppose to do. My heart was grieved for her, she sat in this room with many ladies laughing and telling stories, just like a baby party but with no baby. i later found out that many women still sit in there house for days and people come over, just like a baby party. How hard! When I would tell her how sorry i was she would just say "God is Good." And yes He is, but I do not think that means that we can't cry. I did find out later that many will not cry, especially not in front of people, because then it looks as if you do not believe God knows what is best for you. However, I did come home and cry for her, how hard, not being able to express any of your feeling!

sorry for the sad story, but thought it was important to share.